Sunday, March 31, 2013

The joys of online dating....

When I recently became single, everyone started sharing their advice on what I should do to "move on". Some of course said, get back out their I met my spouse or current significant other online. So I figured, alright, I will give it a try. I work odd hours compared to others, plus I'm not a bar let's get drunk type of girl. I won't share the site I went on because I deleted my profile, I was not happy, although did line up plenty of dates. 
Here is my first two experiences, although I have more dates to come so you will see my journey as we go:
image from google.com

Man #1, we will call him Steve

We set up a coffee date. I was looking forward to this it was on a Sunday. 
He text me at 9:30am "Looking forward to meeting you today!" 
I was getting ready for church at the time, then went to church, and didn't look at my phone or respond to him until later.
10am Steve: "Do you not want to do this?"
12:30pm Me: "Umm sure why?"
12:32pm Steve: "You seem busy and are making me feel like I am bothering you. If you aren't up for getting together, I would understand."
12:45pm Me: "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I was at church and not looking at my phone."
12:47pm Steve: "I am looking for someone who is wanting a relationship and will take this seriously. I have had other bad experiences and I just want to make sure you are really into this."
12:55pm Me: "I am looking for a relationship but not one that is starting out on this foot. I have a bad feeling about this and you might want to take some time for you, as you seem to be hurt by someone in your past. I am feeling judged and haven't done anything wrong. I'm sorry but I am going to cancel the date. Hope you have a great day."

To save you from the long and elaborate responses, I will sum it up to you. He had a ton of baggage and then started begging me to go out with him. Needless to say, I wasn't flattered, I just politely said I wasn't interested. It took a while to get him to understand where I was coming from.

*****I don't know about you, but I am a go with your gut person. I am not going to do anything if my gut makes me feel that I should do it. This just felt like a bad experience and would be a waste of my time. As you learned about me in my about me section. I was in a relationship for 8 years and felt I wasted a TON of my life on someone who didn't want the same things as I do, so I don't want to waste any more time.

image from thegloss.com

Man #2: We will call him Erik.
Online profile picture was a picture of him with classes, looked like the intelligent type, seemed easy to talk to on the phone, clean shaven, in the doctor field. He asked me out to sushi, I arrive, sit at the bar of the restaurant waiting. A man walks up to me and asks me what my name is. I kid you not, he looked like the wolverine threw up on his face. I am not saying I am against facial hair, because taken care of facial hair can be very attractive. This was crazy town on his face. I must have looked shocked because he proceeded to explain why he has facial hair.

"My patients think I don't look qualified to be a doctor without the facial hair so this is why I have it."

I had dinner with him and he was a nice guy, but a HUGE lesson I learned here is that, people try to put their best foot forward on the internet, even though my intentions are to find my soul-mate and my information is true and my picture current, not all people are that way, so precede with caution. My feelings towards putting up an old picture or one that doesn't look like you anymore - this is not telling the truth, you are wasting someones time and for those who have had experiences like mine, it feels like you are wasting your time and being lied to. 

I have another coffee date and 2 sushi dates coming up. I will keep you posted!!

Until next time...